Youth dribbles
out of me
like water
through a sieve.
I look in the mirror
and observe my mother's
legs, ankles, hands
and lines.
Refusing to see them
like I did
as a child.
A sign. A message
from time.
Now struggling
to survive
so foolishly,
as if I,
could be
the only one alive
who can cheat, defeat
and defy the
true destiny
of life,
to die.
out of me
like water
through a sieve.
I look in the mirror
and observe my mother's
legs, ankles, hands
and lines.
Refusing to see them
like I did
as a child.
A sign. A message
from time.
Now struggling
to survive
so foolishly,
as if I,
could be
the only one alive
who can cheat, defeat
and defy the
true destiny
of life,
to die.
23 Comments:
another fluid poem with so much feeling and i read this out loud and loved it!!
"a message from time" that you have conveyed so well :)
Beautiful poem do not forget to love yourself...
lorena, you are just too damn kind! ;) i love that you read it out loud. thanks so much!
Avik, I appreciate that!
Jacob, i love the rhythm of things. its hard to convey though. i'm glad you see it! thank you!
poems, thanks so much for visiting. i have been perusing your site. very nice!
a thought provoking piece as we all feel the aging effects of time and see lines of memories written across us.
very nice poem, dee.m!
thanks stella! my mother's ankles have been haunting me in the mirror! ;)
This is so haunting.
Especially, the lines "Youth dribbles out of me like water through a sieve."
And "as if I, could be the only one alive who can cheat, defeat and defy the true destiny of life, to die."
We have all felt that way once. But you capture the irony in such a striking way.
i agree with stella, it really makes you think.
"Youth dribbles out of me like water through a sieve."
excellent metaphor! its disturbing to see your parents age.
WOnderful Poem DeeM!
AP, just once?? I think about death and not being so to speak all the time! thanks for such nice comments.
Gulnaz, all of a sudden you notice little things like that. It hits quickly. muchas gracias amiga! :)
Darn, that got me down :(
But nice one !
Like scent-tendrils I follow towards a precipice, the rhyme here has rendered me entranced.
Your wisdom shows... And I applaud. ^_^
Deeeeem, which would be the greater prison? Death, or to live forever in this place? No. Let your words be immortal. As for your soul, I will see you on the other side, remember, there are worlds other than this! I think I am more afraid of cheating death (with its consequences) than dying itself.... Very honest words you speak though *sigh*
Hey Jaxe! Welcome back! I hear ya!
There's no such thing as cheating death. Just prolonging it. ;)
Mystique, many, many thanks!
come back in the water, its safe now. im learning to walk on it.
haha. thanks neel. this job is draining all the life out of me to the point where I haven't even had the desire to write. Hopefully it will even off soon.
youth bubbles out my nose in the form of cola, it tingles too!
Wow, good, why do we not like to see our mother's in our selves. Esp. when as kids our mother was the best.
This is my first visit, I am intrigued.
This made me think about things I haven't thought of for some time...
Neel, among other things right now I suppose! :)
Pecos, for me it's because I see myself aging. well, and of course i have mother issues. haha.
Hi Queenie and Free Spirit, thanks so much for visiting!
ray ray, thanks, man. ;)
ha, thanks potted! my mom does have those, too. although i hear you can help avoid them by not crossing your legs. :)
I also find that being a man helps reduce the chance as well
Hi DeeM *slaaaaaaaaaaap*
j
Hey, No Touching, can you please touch me with another poem, please?
xoxoxo
Well written poem..very creative in its approach...I love the way you observe you mother but not in child's eye
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