The Calling
I live on this
blinding white island
the shore
slowly eroding.
One by one
they are disappearing,
gone into love.
Take me with you,
I scream into
the salty air.
No Response.
I built a raft
to save myself.
It too sits on the beach
eroding.
I dreamt I had a paddle,
awakening
to a palm
torn apart
by restlessness.
Remember me,
I scream
into the salty air.
Looking to the left
my lips
touch my shoulder.
I bite down hard,
no response.
blinding white island
the shore
slowly eroding.
One by one
they are disappearing,
gone into love.
Take me with you,
I scream into
the salty air.
No Response.
I built a raft
to save myself.
It too sits on the beach
eroding.
I dreamt I had a paddle,
awakening
to a palm
torn apart
by restlessness.
Remember me,
I scream
into the salty air.
Looking to the left
my lips
touch my shoulder.
I bite down hard,
no response.
posted by DeeM at 9:14 PM
22 Comments:
"Take me with you." What a haunting line. If I understand you correctly, the whole poem is built around this idea. I think anyone looking for love has felt this emotion before. The narrative here is particularly visceral. Espcially the last line.
Also, I love the title. It fits so well with the rest of the piece, but does not directly describe or draw on the text of the poem.
Very well done. I get chills just reading your work.
wow!! deem this is very intense. i have a feeling i would be in the very same island but maybe some where you couldn't see me but in the same place emotionally.
"they are disappearing,
gone into love"
i see this all around me and i too have the same "take me with you" screams internally.
beautiful poem, one of my favorites from you! :)
beautiful and haunting. i can see the shore eroding and the bite marks on the shoulder.
nicely done, dee.m :) !!
Very beautiful. And stark...
AP, yes, you are correct. this is kind of my frustration at the fact that it seems everyone is finding what I can't. feeling left behind. the raft speaks of how i know that i am partly to blame and the lips, shoulder, etc is sort of like a last attempt to feel something or wake up to reality. thank you for such nice comments.
Lorena, most definitely. And you so want to scream it out, right? This kind of plays like a dream in my head even though it wasn't one. Writing this was a mini battle for me against loneliness. haha. It worked for a little while. :)
Stella, that last line is sort of a different way of screaming into the salty air. The salt being the taste of my skin.
Thanks everyone for your comments.
its a scream from the heart. soft as a whisper when it begs to be taken away.
'my lips
touch my shoulder.
I bite down hard,'
...and it makes it no better. phew! can totally relate to this, 'scream'.
very raw and honest, gr8 work deem! :)
Thanks Gulnaz! :)
Looking to the left
my lips
touch my shoulder.
I bite down hard,
no response.
I feel your numbness DeeM. I feel it all the time. Haunting dark work. Your dark side is so beautiful.
Stud Jaxe, it left a mark, too. ~sigh~
haha.
uh, are you calling me "Stud Jaxe" or are you just saying you have a studded tongue piercing *smirk* Either way, it left a mark... your getting pretty raw in your old age. I like that!
~deem gives jaxe evil, yet lustful stare.~
*S M A C K*
Behave. I'm just a nice Christian boy.
This is just to tell yo that Im enjoying you poetry so much...keep them coming
Now I have added you in my blog
www.livinginpoetry.com
Be sure that I will be visiting your blog evry now and then
Very intense and beautiful.
Raging against the solitude. ^_^ There may be failed attempts (one too many at times), but it is undoubtedly admirable for one to not fully give in (letting the void swallow the soul whole, or tear it apart).
Stark. Compelling. ^_^
potted, i use this quote often. 'some people never go crazy. what truly horrible lives they must lead'.
sanity is subject to opinion. thanks ;)
nasra, thanks for adding me, i am greatly enjoying your site as well!
August, many MANY thanks!
Soulless, sometimes i want to just give in. but for whatever reason, can't. i dont know if its a choice or not.
room in your dark place for one more?
jaxe, you have to read her "tripped up" post on her other blog!
always, neel. but it might not be so dark with you there!
thanks avik, you're too kind!
sometimes i want to just give in. but for whatever reason, can't.
I, too, am in the same boat. Sigh. I reckon survival instinct holds the map and the paddles, too... that I should wake up each morning and function, i.e. move... and not let the stillness claim me.
Awesome! Intense! Beautiful!
~ A
Post a Comment
<< Home