A lesson in relaxation
That smog returned
quickly this time.
Illogical, nervous,
angry, tearful.
I feel hyper, pacing back and
forth finding random chores
to do around the apartment.
In between steps I repeat,
what’s wrong with you?
Get control.
How, how to get control.
I’m still in my pajamas,
haven’t eaten breakfast.
Oh, there’s a little bit
of vodka in the cabinet.
Enough for one drink to
take the edge off.
Good idea.
I poured that drink, shaking.
Sitting down at the computer
looking for your note I
knock some back.
I don’t like vodka.
Another swallow.
This isn’t a good idea.
This just makes you weak.
In the kitchen I dump
it down the drain.
But not before feeling
the first drops warm
my throat and stomach.
Wash the dishes.
A better idea.
Eat breakfast.
A lightly burned bagel.
I like it like that.
And a Valium.
Because that’s much more
reasonable at this time of day.
quickly this time.
Illogical, nervous,
angry, tearful.
I feel hyper, pacing back and
forth finding random chores
to do around the apartment.
In between steps I repeat,
what’s wrong with you?
Get control.
How, how to get control.
I’m still in my pajamas,
haven’t eaten breakfast.
Oh, there’s a little bit
of vodka in the cabinet.
Enough for one drink to
take the edge off.
Good idea.
I poured that drink, shaking.
Sitting down at the computer
looking for your note I
knock some back.
I don’t like vodka.
Another swallow.
This isn’t a good idea.
This just makes you weak.
In the kitchen I dump
it down the drain.
But not before feeling
the first drops warm
my throat and stomach.
Wash the dishes.
A better idea.
Eat breakfast.
A lightly burned bagel.
I like it like that.
And a Valium.
Because that’s much more
reasonable at this time of day.
posted by DeeM at 2:09 PM
3 Comments:
That is so powerful, DeeM! I love how you so matter-of-factly state all the intense feelings and personal demons your fighting. I love the *impact* when I read it....
And a Valium. Because that's much more reasonable at this time of day
That, my friend, is the understated irony that I know as DeeM! Perhaps your not made for hyper ;-) Brilliant work. *hug*
i also like how honest you are. you can feel the anxiety here.
great work! :)
Jaxe, yes, hyper doesn't agree with me. Thanks!
Hi Lorena, how's it going?
milo grazi! (or somthing like that)
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